dont they have dreams too?

october 3, 2008 9:51 pm listening to "destiny" by zero 7

today is the day. i'm on my flight to Chile right now. through Florida and about half an hour or so into the trip. so about 8 1/2 more hours! I got lucky and on both my connections flights and my current flights no one sat next to me. i'm especially glad about that on this flights so i cant stretch out and hopefully i'll sleep some. so i noticed alot of things today. i was looking out the plane window and i saw the guys outsdie directing the planes. or driving the carts with luggage and i thought to myself .. are they gonna psent ht erest of their lives doing that? signaling airplanes and moving luggage? it made me wonder, dont these people ahve dreams too? goals and amibitions? or do they actually want that for their life? maybe they dont belive their goals and dreams can be achieved. and althought i have doubts for my dreams at times, i cant imagine spending my life just settling for a mediocre life. working to live and living to work.

i like airports. i didnt get to spend a whoel lot of time in one today but i like people watching, wondering who they are, where they are going and what their story is. i wonder if people look at me and ask the same questions. its now 10:34pm and we are heading off the coast of florida and towards cuba. welel that's all for now.
ps. airplane food sucks. at least there was bread and butter.. my favorite! :)


well this is a bit more light-hearted than previous posts. but such a good example of how im always thinking about random things and analyzing people and what not. i've always been one to think that people should find a career they love, do what you love. but i guess its not always possible.. sometimes.. really, alot of times people have to do what they have to do just to get by. guess i wasnt thinking about that factor then. but i've been working at a new job, and it's not something i love, but i enjoy the challenge i suppose but i know this isnt forever, it's just what i have to do to get where i wanna go. i think it's kinda silly i even asked the quesiton - of course they have dreams and ambitions, we all do. right? i guess it just matters how determined you are..better yet it matters who's hands your putting your life in - your own hands? or His hands?

feeling blessed

journal entry from 8.7.2008

this was written in my last few days at camp ozark last summer..

only nine more days! i cant wait! i feel finally content just being by myself. i've been thinking alot lately about how it's been just about a year since i accepted Christ. I cant believe it! but i am so happy to be this place in my life. i'm excited to see what God has planned for me this fall, and how he plans to use me. I really want to write a special note to each of the people who played an important role in this process over the past year. especially to those there at the beginning. Eric, Stephanie, Gina, Lindsay, Kyle, Jennifer, Lynette, Christina, Caroline and Caroline. and to my friends from high school who supported me in my decision. i just feel so belssed to have so many amaizng people and beautiful people in my life. i thank God so much for this life and all that i ahve. its more than i could have ever asked for.


another intersting entry to go back and read and reflect on... i never wrote those notes. i believe i said a few personal thank yous. but i really wish i would have written those notes, especially to caroline. i was excited about last fall and living with caroline and i just felt like so many good things were ahead of me. and in reality so many good things were ahead of me. it was hard to see that when caroline died but her life has impacted me dramatically and i'm so thankful for that. I'm still grateful to all those who really supported me and helped me last year, through begining my walk with Christ and also just with lifes struggles. i recieved unbelieveable amounts of encouragement and it means so much. i'm still so grateful for the life i've been given. and once again i look ahead with excitment and hope for what God has for my future.

who i was intended to be..

journal entry from january 10, 2008

i know that God has made me passionate abuot two things - music and people. i feel like i am getting closer to figuring out what God wants to do with me more specifically. i know that i want and feel like i should do something in the music industry but i dont know exactly what i am going to do to make an impact, or how will i get there.

"THIS IS YOUR LIFE, ARE YOU WHO YOU WANT TO BE" " switchfoot.

i am becoming who i want to be as i continue to learn about my identity in Christ. I am begining to live my life in such a way that not only i am pleased but that the Lord is hopefully pleased with me as well. I am becoming the Aliciana God intended for me to be. I am letting Him show me the way.


its pretty interesting to go back and read this. see where i was at that point in my life. here i sit a year and a half or so later. i no longer feel like the music industry is where i'm headed, thats for sure. it's not even what i desire to do anymore. however i am still passionate about those two things - music and people. better year - i'm passionate about three things. God, music and people. but that passion for God is something that came with time. I love being able to see the beginning of my journey. a year and a half doesnt seem so long, but i have grown alot.. a ton actually. and i'm STILL only at the beginning. how crazy is that. I'm the Aliciana God always intended for me to be. 21 years of life..and i finally got here. feels nice. but there's a better me ahead.. but that comes with time.

the introduction

i started journaling in january of 2008. caroline inspired me to do so. i had previously kept a journal when i was younger but stopped writing at the age of 15 because my parents found and read my diary and i felt it was a huge invasion of my privacy and what once felt safe and something that only belonged to me was exposed. so i quit. but like i said, caroline inspired me to journal again, especially about what God was doing in my life and things i was learning.

i dont know what prompted this blog but i thought why not do it. so heres how it goes. i have a total of three or four journals now that are partially or fully completed. every so often, hopefully every week or maybe even more frequently i'll post an entry from my journal. it could be current or it could be old. really just whatever i'm feeling. im inviting you to a 'behing the scenes' look into my life i suppose. kinda scary. i've always been pretty open with my friends and people in general about my life, myself and my feelings but thats dwindled a bit over the past couple of years. and its been nice to keep alot of things in the security of my journals. but like i said, i dont know why i'm even really doing this.. just feel compelled to. so i am. maybe you'll read something and be like "hey i've been there too" or maybe you'll say "wow, i never knew aliciana thought this or that" or you'll just think i'm weird ha. but whatever it is you think, i just hope you read and maybe learn something new about me or life or love or God or anything really.

as for the title of this blog. well its currently "let there be morning" . it's a title of a song by the pershers. again - no real reason. i just like the way it sounds. it could change. but maybe its something like this. if its a good day i'm hoping that tomorrow morning comes and its another day filled with the joys of life. if it's not such a great day and im feeling overwhelmed, i'm hoping i wake up and theres morning to start a new day and hope for something better. yeah. thats it. so rain or shine, happy or sad.. i just hope that there will be light, and that there will be morning.

peace and love.

aliciana